Embracing Fear

We all deal with the fear of survival on a daily basis. "Will I be good enough?" "Have I done enough?" and "What if it's not enough?" are common examples of fear-based self-talk. Even though it can be easy to let our fears define our reality, which actions we decide to take as a result of our fears define who we truly are.

We can sometime experience our fears as a comparative experience: "If I don't work/study/try hard enough, I will lose _____." When we get into situations where we compare our current state of being with an expectation against something or someone else (even if it's a past or future version of ourselves or our work), we can experience a great deal of disharmony.

Fear can also show up as a barricade, preventing us from taking the next step and keeping us in familiar patterns. "Don't do that; you won't be successful." Sometimes fear is absolutely warranted and keeps us out of harm's way. However, fear can also be a catalyst for change and personal evolution. It emboldens us to break out of our chains and end cycles and patterns that we no longer want to define us.

The presence of fear can be a great asset. Fear shows us that we care about something enough not to lose/risk/destroy it. When we experience fear, we are saying, "I'll do whatever is within my power not to risk losing control over this. I will stay within my comfort zone, if that's what it takes."

Normally, when we listen to fear, we fail to see what fear is preventing us from seeing: an experience of ourselves that is not limited by that fear. The idea of playing to win versus playing not to lose is very appropriate here. When we play not to lose, we play into those limited parts of ourselves that keep us inhibited and limited. When we play to win, we will do whatever it takes to win, including conquering our worst fears, if needed.

Fear can serve us in showing us what specifically we need to overcome in order to win, while it can also show us the barricades that keep us "paralyzed in fear" and just surviving, instead of thriving. The next time you experience fears of your own, get to know them, question them, and ask yourself if your belief in them is helping you become the best version of yourself?

Creating a Non-Judgmental Environment

Mimi Zweig, Indiana University's Professor of Violin, has preached that a non-judgmental environment is a prerequisite to success in learning an instrument (or anything for that matter!) She is adamant that mistakes should not be classified as "bad" or "good" and that all results are simply information.

The fixation on trying to obtain only "good" results can often be linked to a fixed mindset, where the student refuses to take risks and is afraid to explore different outcomes for fear of it being labeled as "bad" or not deserving of praise.

Most adults can relate to these two ideas: 1) knowing what not to do can actually be more helpful than knowing what to do, and 2) there are exceptions to every rule. This is so true in learning music effectively.

For example, intonation is often taught as an absolute, that is to say that there is only one correct way to play the note "A" and that your accuracy can be determined by measurable means, such as using a tuner. However, once you reach more advanced levels, students are introduced to at least three main systems for intonation: Pythagorean, Equal Temperament & Just, and the various scenarios where one might play a note flat or sharp on purpose, for aesthetic reasons. As such, there is no such thing as a true "A" pitch.

However, when a student is taught a fixed concept of the note "A", they tend to struggle to accept or adapt to alternatives. Anything outside of "correctness" becomes intolerable, which saps creativity and exploration. It is vitally important that "correct" results do not become the focus of a musician's efforts, but rather understanding the process.

The terms "good" and "bad" don't have a place in the practice room. At best, they make us goal-oriented instead of process-oriented, and at worst, they deny our willingness to explore and discover new things. Unfortunately, it's very easy for a student to experience what they interpret as a "poor" outcome and then to associate that with being a "poor" musician or even a "poor" human being.

We should try to focus on neutrality and the depersonalization of outcomes. Mistakes should be regarded as simply data or information which can then be assessed objectively to create actionable strategies. A thought like, "That note was out of tune" doesn't have to mean, "I'm bad at this." Instead, the thought, "That note was out of tune," should lead to, "That note was sharp by 20 cents," which then leads to, "I need to lower my finger by two millimeters." A non-judgmental environment breeds clear, objective & actionable goals.

Upgrading Your Instrument

There comes a time in every student's musical journey where they will need to consider upgrading their instrument. Whether that is for ergonomic reasons (size upgrade) or for artistic reasons (lack of color & timbre), it can be an extremely confusing process for all involved.

Ergonomic upgrades are fairly straightforward; if a student is ready for the next size, one simply needs to obtain that size. Usually, the larger instrument will naturally have more power and richness, just due to the larger resonating body. However, if the student is starting to reach the upper limit of what their current instrument is able to do, then an upgrade in quality is required.

Like many things, the rise in quality and cost tend to go hand-in-hand, up to a point. Instruments can easily go from players' instruments (ones which scale in tonal beauty as cost goes up) to investors' instruments (ones whose value may appreciate with cost, but not necessarily show linear appreciation in tonal beauty) as it crosses a specific price threshold.

First, determine your needs: Do you want this instrument to last for several years of progress? Or do you want to be purchasing another upgrade within the next two years? Does the company you purchase from allow for trade-ins or upgrades against your current instrument?

Next, determine your price range. This is where it can get tricky. You can literally buy a violin off Amazon for $60, but when you factor in how many problems it would have that would need to be corrected to make it playable, it would cost over $1,500 in repairs.

What you are paying for in an instrument is skilled craftsmanship and the age and quality of tone wood and fittings. A poorly carved bridge or nut can make a professional sound like they are just beginning, and wood that is not properly aged and dried can later develop cracks or seam openings. So, when you see an inexpensive instrument, keep in mind what problems you may encounter later down the road of ownership.

A seasoned professional will be able to tell if the asking price of an instrument is fair, but to most students seeking an upgrade, anything will sound better than what they are currently playing. Always look for objective feedback, whether that's your teacher's opinion, or simply video recording you playing the instrument. A good sign that a shop is reputable is that they will allow for instrument trials so you can play the instrument for a week and get outside opinions.

Structuring Motivation During Summer Vacation

Summer motivation is hard to come by for everyone. Whether you're a student and summer is seen as a time to relax and disengage from learning or you're an adult and the warm weather makes relaxing with a cool beverage a lot more appealing than making progress in the practice room, we all struggle to stay focused on our goals during the season we've come to associate with "vacation time".

There's nothing wrong with going on vacation, taking a break, or living life to its fullest, but if one of your goals is to make massive progress on your instrument, there is no better time to do so than during the summer months!

First of all, get specific with your goals: what would you like to really accomplish over the next few months? Break that big goal down into monthly milestones, then break those down further into weekly check-ins. Finally, let those weekly goals gently guide how you prioritize and spend your practice time, instead of serving as grim deadlines of possible failure.

Second, abandon an all-or-nothing approach. Use the goals you set to inspire and guide you, instead of using them to punish you, if (and when) you don't meet them. Not meeting a goal is not a sign of failure, but rather can be a gentle nudge that the strategy or process you used may not be as effective as you originally thought. Use this feedback to help you pivot, be more creative in your problem solving, and provide the latitude to try new solutions.

Third, celebrate your wins! We don't congratulate ourselves enough in this culture of lack. When you do well and commit to the goals you've set, give yourself a reward. Whether it's a Popsicle on a hot day, a dip in the water, or a mini YouTube binge session, honor the times when you serve your best interests!

Finally, realize that progress is rarely linear, and even five minutes can yield a game-changing epiphany or two! Investing in yourself is never a bad bet, and remember that if you can get just 1% better each day, (with compounding) you'll be 37 times better by the end of the year!

Complimentary Alexander Technique Mini-Course

It's no exaggeration when I say that I owe my musical career to the Alexander Technique (AT). Before I learned of its existence, I was dealing with tendinitis that was so intense that I couldn't even pick up my instrument without being in searing pain! I truly thought that I was going to have to quit playing permanently.

Luckily, I was introduced to AT, started studying it with a teacher, and later learned how to teach it myself. AT (combined with studies in kinesiology & anatomy) has been an absolute gift in my life, and I want to pass that knowledge on to others who may find some relief from pain by using and applying its principles. That's why I created this free mini-course on the Alexander Technique!

I recommend starting with our first video which contains a general overview of the Alexander Technique. This will go over a little history and background regarding AT, as well as general principles for both the body as well as for the mind when creating new habits.

The next two videos can be watched in any order: The Best Way to Stand is a video designed specifically for violinists and violists, while The Best Way to Sit is designed for everyone, including cellists, orchestral musicians, or anyone who has to sit in a chair for any extended length of time!

I hope you enjoy this introduction to AT and that it serves you as well as it has served me!

Embracing Difficulty & Discomfort

We live in a society where we're taught to seek pleasure and avoid pain. We're taught that happiness is the most important thing in life and that feelings of discomfort (such as sadness and anger) are things to avoid. When we're taught that being uncomfortable is bad, instead of learning to sit with our feelings of discomfort, accept them & find strategies to work through them, it's no wonder that the average child today reports having more anxiety than psych ward patients did in the 1950's!

As parents and teachers, we try to shield our young people from having to face unnecessary challenges, hoping that their lives will be easier than ours when we were their age. What many of us forget is that when we take responsibility for experiences they are allowed to have, we also steal their opportunity to grow from the same types of experiences which forged us into who we are.

Sometimes, paving a path that has as few challenges as possible actually creates an effect opposite of that which we had intended, and studies in self-efficacy show that children aged 12-17 begin to experience depression when they start to realize that their successes were the result of lax standards instead of hard work and grit.

I'm a big believer in the adage which says "from pain, comes growth." Let's face it; learning is hard. It can be frustrating, demoralizing, and uncomfortable. Learning is the business of wisdom gleaned from making mistakes. After all, what have we ever learned from doing something right the first time?

A teacher's job is to push boundaries so that it allows for growth to happen, and we love talking about the "zone of proximal development" which is that sweet spot between challenges that are boring and those that are paralyzing. It's our job to tailor each challenge to each individual student so that they find the work energizing and are ultimately able to experience that incredible feeling of satisfaction that comes from a "job well done."

But we forget that the very best teacher we will ever have is ourselves, and it's imperative that each of us learns to become friends with our feelings of discomfort and to understand that growth is waiting for us on the other side. We must learn that knowledge and experience are born from the messiness of making mistakes, and we must become masters at identifying our own "zones of proximal development" so that we can look forward to hard work and find confidence in success that is hard-won.

Inhibition & Habits

Whether it's not reaching for a sugary snack or making sure we keep a curved thumb in our bow hold, we all have habits we'd like to edit or replace with other habits. The question then becomes: "How do we replace old habits and create new habits most effectively?"

In the Alexander Technique, one of the main components to creating new habits is the intentional act of inhibition. To inhibit is to stop and take a moment before the habit is allowed to be carried out. Inhibition is like freezing time during the moment where a decision is being made, giving ourselves time to think through all the possible outcomes, and then choosing the best possible solution based on what we know. Sometimes, this can take a few moments, like when opening the fridge and reviewing your snack options, and sometimes, this can take longer, like when we need a day to think about committing to something more important.

Famed Juilliard violin teacher, Dorothy DeLay, was fond of saying, "All mistakes exist between just two notes." What she meant is that the real reason mistakes happen is in the events leading up to them, not when we suddenly realize that something is wrong. While getting a poor grade on a test may seem like a problem, the real problem will most likely be found in the preparation for that test.

We live in a fast culture, where speed and efficiency is prized. But consider that true efficiency in learning and the forming of new habits may lie in our ability to take a moment (or several) to choose the best solution before executing on any actions. Whether that's choosing a fresh fruit or vegetable to snack on instead of a candy bar or monitoring how curved our thumb feels in our bow hold, the best learning takes place when we take the time to be slow and mindful, instead of being reactive and giving in to old habits.

Life Coaching for Students

One of the things that NMS prides itself on is helping students to develop essential life skills in order to provide a comprehensive education in music but also in life. However, there are some topics which cannot be addressed within the scope of a music lesson which students would absolutely benefit from exploring with another professional.

Life coaching is something that many adults have come to rely on in order to help them become their best selves. However, what if we were instilled with the strategies and wisdom we possess today back when we were in our youth? That's the question which sparked my most recent collaboration.

I'd like to introduce my older sister, Meeshie Nguyen! She runs a non-profit called Events for Causes which, among other things, creates "Chemo Warrior Kits" which are hand delivered to children undergoing chemotherapy. She co-founded the Live Well Project which educates underserved girls about self esteem, nutrition, fitness, and raising one another up. Meeshie also serves as a Board Advisor for the Copley-Price YMCA, is a breast cancer survivor, and has her MBA from USC.

Most experienced as an Executive Life Coach, Meeshie wanted to offer a coaching package for teens & pre-teens (adults are also welcome!) which would help them find clarity, tap into their future selves, and assist them with socialization & organization.

Her coaching package includes:

• 30-Minute Introduction Session (a parent or guardian is required to attend so that guidelines can be set)

• Three (3) One-Hour One-on-One Coaching Sessions

Meeshie is offering this 3.5 hour coaching package for only $99 just for our students with the code Music2021 (normally a $750 package!) If you've ever been curious what life coaching could do for your student (or you!) there's never been a better time to find out, and this is really too generous of an offer to pass up. Please be advised that this offer expires on 2/28/21.

My hope is that we are better able to serve our students more fully and more deeply to become the highest expressions of who they are. For more information, please visit www.breakthestereotype.org

New Year's Resolutions

As the new year unfolds, many of us may make resolutions to begin a new adventure, finish an old project, or to make progress on the path we're currently taking. While many New Year's resolutions are well-intentioned, why is it that 25% of people will give up within the first week, 50% in the first month, and only 10% of us will keep them through to the end of the year?

If experiencing success were as simple as having a thought ("I want to exercise more") and that thought led to action ("I workout for three hours each week"), then everyone would succeed in their goals to create new, lasting habits. The reality is that few of us experience that success, and the reason for that is that thoughts don't directly translate to actions.

The truth is that thoughts lead to feelings first, and those feelings then govern our actions. If my thought is, "I want to exercise more", then I have to discover how I feel when I believe that thought. If I want to exercise more because I'm afraid of people judging my body or because I'm not happy with my appearance, then the feelings I experience from wanting to exercise are of shame, embarrassment & self-deprecation.

When we choose to believe those thoughts and experience those feelings, what kinds of actions can we expect to come out of shame, embarrassment & self-deprecation? To put it nicely, probably not very productive ones.

The trick is to reframe our thoughts and beliefs. In the case of exercise, instead of focusing on my fears, we can choose to find the positives within that thought, such as, "I want to exercise more because I want to experience greater levels of energy, increased endorphin release (and therefore euphoria), and improve my sleep." With feelings of more energy, more endorphins, and improved sleep guiding our actions, who wouldn't work towards those benefits?

If you are setting any resolutions this year, take the time to question your reasons behind them. You may uncover feelings that may not be particularly motivating to the actions which will lead to your future success. Endeavor to place a positive spin on your thoughts which will lead to the motivating feelings which then will fuel productive actions. Here's to a happy, healthy, and productive year for ourselves and our loved ones!

Virtual Winter Recital

I'm happy to announce that we will be hosting an online studio recital through Zoom on Saturday, February 13th at 5:30pm. "Doors" will open at 5:15pm for participants and attendees.

Because there was a preference for a more casual setting where participants and audience members may come and go at their leisure, I am requesting that all performers send in a final video recording one week before the recital date so that the performances may be streamed during the recital. This will prevent any lag or latency issues that could possibly disrupt a live performance, while also giving performers the opportunity to present their very best work! Due to student privacy, the recital will not be recorded through the Zoom app, and there will be no private recording made available through YouTube.

In order to present a fully realized musical performance, performing with accompaniment will be mandatory (except for solo Bach). Students may choose to perform with a digital piano track provided by Ms. Garcia-Grijalva, live piano accompaniment (perhaps you live with a pianist), or accompaniment through the Cadenza Live or My Pianist apps (please make sure you fully understand how this software works as it can be somewhat complicated to use).

Students must sign up with their chosen recital piece by Saturday, December 19th, at which point I will send a followup email with more specific details.

I am looking forward to seeing and hearing everyone perform, and I hope you will join us in this very special community event!